


The Still Of Your Hand

by rage_quitter



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Guardian Uldren, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Smut chapter of If Secrets Were Like Seeds, Trans Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 13:09:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19273984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rage_quitter/pseuds/rage_quitter
Summary: Uldren is... familiar. But he's not the same. Jolyon likes that.





	The Still Of Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place between chapters 5 and 6 of If Secrets Were Like Seeds! Both of them are trans men. Jolyon has had top surgery, Uldren has had top and bottom surgery. It's not necessary to read ISWLS for this, nor is this necessary to plot for it, it's just smut lmao

Jolyon pressed in close. It was hot, too hot, like he was burning. Hell, maybe he was. As long as he could die touching Uldren, he didn't care.

Long fingers knit into his hair and plucked the tie free. Jolyon slowly grinned into Uldren's mouth and mimicked the gesture. Except for him, he just gave a little tug to his hair.

Uldren gasped into the kiss.

Perfect.

He slid his other hand down Uldren's side, his hip, to his thigh, then his ass. Jolyon shifted his hips into him.

So much for taking things slow. Jolyon was melting from his touch. He desperately wanted, needed. Uldren clearly had a pace in mind, and it was a hungry one.

He missed this.

Even with a rich bite of vetiver and ginger, Uldren still felt like Uldren. Still angled his head just so when Jolyon searched for his neck. Still danced too-eager fingers over his back, his arms. Still tried to hold down little sounds.

Jolyon eased his mouth to kiss tenderly at his jaw. “Playing the quiet game?” he murmured. “I know how to change that.”

“Do you?” Uldren said, trying to be challenging, but Jolyon knew better. There was rise, yes, but a waver to his voice.

“Is it unfair?” Jolyon teased, running his fingers through Uldren’s hair. “I know how to unravel you.”

“I’ll just have to learn for myself,” Uldren said.

Jolyon grinned. “I suppose I can take time to teach you, but… why don’t I help you learn about yourself, first?”

He didn’t give Uldren the chance to respond, instead tugging at Uldren’s hair to angle his head so he could kiss behind his ear. Uldren jolted at that, fingers clumsy, tightening. He left trails of fire everywhere he touched.

It was dizzying. Muscle memory, guided by how he knew Uldren liked to be touched, but the man he had pressed against the wall was still different. A strangeness to the way he moved, something more gentle in his touch and his voice, everything seemed almost softer. More powerful, yes, that feeling of the Light, that humming power, but still… tender.

Uldren arched his back, hips shifting, pressing into him. Jolyon caught his lips again, starved for what he’d missed so desperately for so long.

“Bed?” he murmured into his lips.

Uldren pushed at him a little, but brought himself along. They both refused to stop touching, clumsy as they moved. Halfway across the room Jolyon had his hands up Uldren’s shirt, trying to get it off without pulling away. He finally, reluctantly took half a step back to free him of it.

Jolyon froze.

Uldren was breathless, pupils overtaking the bright gold of his eyes. He knit his brow, suddenly uncertain. “Jol?”

Jolyon set his hand on Uldren’s chest, on the scars. The bullet wounds. The ripple of his skin turned jagged on the rough edges of the flesh, lightning instead of water. Darker, mottled blue, a burn. “I didn’t know that this happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“Scars. From death. I can tell you where every other scar came from. I was there. But not these ones. I guess I… have the answer to the question I never wanted to ask Petra, though.”

Uldren grasped his wrist loosely. “It… doesn’t hurt.”

Jolyon laughed and shook his head. “You are just… unbelievable. Oh, these are scars from the gunshots that literally killed you, it’s okay, they don’t hurt.”

“Well, they don’t!” Uldren chuckled. “Just a scar. A reminder, I guess. What not to do.”

“Mm. Guess so.” He slid his hand up along his chest to his face. “Still okay?”

“Mhm,” Uldren hummed. Jolyon felt that fire flicker again with the way Uldren’s tongue dipped out, viper-quick, to wet his lips. “Can we talk about something else?”

“I’d rather not talk at all,” Jolyon said, tugging him close again.

Uldren’s hands snaked up under his shirt, and he hummed pleased into his mouth at the lazy exploration. Half mapping his body, half trying to get his shirt off, too.

By the Ancients, he needed to be wearing a lot less clothes.

Jolyon’s patience ebbed and he leaned into Uldren until he was walking backwards. He caught him as his knees hit the bed and let him plop down.

Oh, the look on his face when Jolyon stood above him and tugged his shirt up over his head. He threw it somewhere, didn’t matter where. Jolyon’s knee came up beside Uldren’s as their hands moved for each other. Like instinct. Habit.

Uldren’s hands met his waist as he made himself home on his lap, reacquainted their lips. He was getting used to the bright edge of his Light. He… liked it, really, warm and lingering on his tongue. Jolyon rolled his hips, trying to decide what to do.

Uldren surprised him.

Jolyon found himself on his back before he could react to the twitch of Uldren’s hands. He blinked into glittering orange eyes and a sly smirk.

“Okay,” he said, “I don’t think I’m gonna get used to that.”

Uldren chuckled and pinned one of his arms to the bed. “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve,” he said proudly. “A few things I can try that you’d never have experienced before.”

Jolyon was almost painfully aroused. He reached for Uldren with his free hand, trying to drag him down to kiss him again. Uldren playfully turned his face into Jolyon’s hand to kiss his palm instead, eyes fluttering closed.

Something squeezed in his chest. Jolyon swiped his thumb gently over Uldren’s cheek. He could feel his smile against his skin.

“Impatient?” Uldren murmured.

“Little bit,” Jolyon replied.

“You’ve only got patience in the field, then, hm?”

“I’ve got plenty. Hard to find it when I’ve got you in bed with me like this.”

“Been a while?” Uldren said dryly, glancing back to his face.

Jolyon scoffed. “I’d say over a decade, but… well, you’re different. Really, this is the first time, with you.”

“Is it weird?”

“Will you just kiss me, Uldren, please, I love your voice, but you’ve got to shut up sometimes!”

Uldren burst out with a laugh. In his distraction, Jolyon knit his fingers into his hair and tugged him down.

Much better.

He was nearly content with maybe just making out with him for a while. Nearly, maybe, not quite. Jolyon nipped lightly at Uldren's lip and moved his leg. He bumped it against Uldren's, hooked his ankle over his calf.

Uldren was grinning into his mouth. “Did you have any particular ideas, my Crow?”

Jolyon shuddered at the nickname, fresh heat shooting to his belly. “I think I forgot them all,” he admitted.

“I’m not, uh, the most experienced, I’m afraid. You’ll have to forgive me for that.”

“Mm, I guess I can deal,” Jolyon teased. “Whatever you’re thinking. We’ll work with it.”

Uldren took a shuddering breath against his throat. “I cannot stop thinking about going down on you,” he whispered.

Jolyon’s fingers turned into hungry claws against the nape of his neck. “Ah,” he said, faintly. He tried to clear his throat, but it came out half-moaned as Uldren scraped his teeth under his jaw. “Yeah, I can completely get behind that.”

“Is that something we did much?”

“Oh, yes,” Jolyon assured. “More often than anything else, I think.”

“You’ll tell me what’s okay, of course?”

“As long as you call it my dick, then go nuts.”

“Got it.” Uldren slowly started sliding down, kissing anywhere he could. Jolyon’s hand was freed, so he let it join the other in Uldren’s hair. Every touch burned over his skin. The fire settled in his stomach.

“Jol, can you move back?”

“Huh?”

Uldren laughed and sat up a little. “Move back a bit?”

“Oh, oh, yeah.” Jolyon pushed himself back on the bed to give Uldren more room. “Whoops.”

Uldren’s hands went for his waist. “Just a warning,” he said dryly, “but I don’t remember how to do this.”

“Don’t bite me and you’ll be fine,” Jolyon assured. He shifted his hips, tightened his stomach. “Not too hard to do.”

“I think I’ll just need plenty of practice.”

“You’d better get started, then.”

Uldren chuckled and hooked his fingers into the waist of Jolyon’s pants. Jolyon lifted his hips to let him slide them down and shuddered at the cool air against him.

Uldren’s eyes were flickering bright, and the air warmed with his hungry Light. He settled between Jolyon’s thighs.

Jolyon’s head fell back onto the bed when Uldren kissed the inside of his thigh. Warm hands urged him to let his legs frame him, over his shoulders. A familiar position.

His breath washed hot and damp over him. Jolyon hardly dared breathe himself.

The coil of anxiety melted into heat in his stomach at the touch of Uldren’s lips against him. His fingers wove into Uldren’s soft hair, pulling it back. He grinned, unabashedly charmed by the first touch being a kiss against his dick. “Sap,” he breathed.

He could feel Uldren smile against him.

Jolyon tensed with a rush of feeling. Uldren’s tongue moved slow, flat, purposeful. He groaned at the lazy exploration. He didn’t know Jolyon’s most sensitive places anymore, but Jolyon had forgotten just how good that slow testing was.

Uldren looked really, really good between his thighs. He loved the way Uldren’s paler sky-blue skin looked against the deeper shade of his own, the golden hue on the violet curls beneath Jolyon’s navel from Uldren’s half-lidded eyes, the silky black and silver of Uldren’s hair with Jolyon’s fingers knit through it.

Uldren’s tongue prodded at his entrance and he let his knees splay a little more. “You can--you can do that,” Jolyon said. “It’s okay--oh, fu-uck…”

The Warlock hummed pleased into him, too busy lapping at his entrance to speak.

Jolyon let himself melt into the feeling, eyes closing, lips parted to catch air that hitched at touches on sensitive spots. Uldren was taking his time, and Jolyon would give him centuries.

Uldren didn’t need experience to make Jolyon’s bones turn to rubber.

It was maddening, in the most wonderful way. Uldren’s slow licks and flitting prods with his tongue, the brushes of his lips, then when he closed his lips around Jolyon’s swollen cock and rubbed with his tongue, when he sucked gently at him--Jolyon choked out a moan, tugging at his hair and tensing his legs.

Uldren eased off, and Jolyon thought he might die.

When Jolyon grabbed at him again, Uldren pressed his lips to him.

Any time Jolyon started getting close, Uldren would pull away, kiss his thighs, rub little circles into his hips until Jolyon started catching breath. And then, before Jolyon could say anything, he latched back onto him.

It was everything Jolyon had missed and more.

So much more. The flare of his Light was tangible, a physical presence against Jolyon’s body. It resonated through him, coiling with the heat in his gut.

Jolyon lost track of time. Maybe time just wasn’t real. The only thing real to him was the burning need coursing through him, Uldren’s lips on him, his fingers in Uldren’s hair. It was ages, though, Uldren was keeping him on edge for an agonizingly long time.

He was shaking. He couldn’t breathe anymore, air catching in his throat, his moans turned into tiny, pathetic whines, and he didn’t even care about that anymore either. Jolyon thought he might just outright cry if he had to keep this up much longer.

Desperation grabbed hold of him, finally. He tightened his fingers into Uldren’s hair, enough that it must’ve hurt, ground his hips into his mouth. “Please, please,” he begged, voice cracking. “I can’t, I-- let me-- please, Uldren…”

Uldren hummed softly into him and grabbed his hips tighter.

He sucked at Jolyon’s cock, gentle, but insistent enough that Jolyon thought he might be blind. It had to be unpleasant when he dug his heel into Uldren’s back, but he couldn’t even think around the need to come.

Finally, finally, Uldren shattered the dam, and Jolyon peaked over the edge with a choked out cry. His ears rang and he could see nothing but spatters of stars.

Uldren lapped lightly at his cock, working him through his orgasm.

Jolyon let his arms fall limp and gasped for breath. “I am-- Uldren Sov, I am gonna kill you,” he managed.

Uldren laughed into his thigh, kissing at him again. He worked his way up to his hip. “Are you okay?”

Jolyon hummed and tightened his stomach. He thought for a second. “Yeah, but… c’mere a sec.”

Uldren tried to subtly wipe his face off. Jolyon rolled his eyes and gestured a little more insistently.

When Uldren was up alongside him, Jolyon grabbed his shoulders. He moved quick to flip them over and dove down to nip at his neck. Uldren’s hands found him, one at his thigh and one on his back.

“So,” Jolyon breathed into his ear as he lazily rolled his hips into Uldren’s stomach. “I’ve got a plan.”

“Fuck,” Uldren rasped, tightening his grip. He was trying hard not to buck his hips. “You want more, Jol?”

“Mm, maybe I should’ve mentioned that.” He chuckled into his throat. He could smell himself on Uldren’s skin. “Dunno if it’s me or if it’s you.”

“I think I’m fine with this,” Uldren purred. “What’s your plan?”

“I am gonna ride you until I can’t feel my legs anymore, and then, since clearly you still enjoy it, you can go down on me again.”

Uldren jerked under him this time. “Fuck, yes, that sounds really good.”

“If you’re okay with it. I don’t know if I have… things… hm… well, it wouldn’t matter either way, though, I guess.” He chuckled breathlessly.

Uldren shuddered a little. “I mean, if you’re alright with it, then yeah, yeah.”

“Hell yes,” Jolyon said enthusiastically. He kissed behind Uldren’s ear to drag a lovely moan from him. “You used to joke about how I’m insatiable.”

“You’ll have to tell me if my stamina’s any different.”

“Fuck, I hope so.” Jolyon paused and snorted. “Not that you weren’t good before, of course.”

Uldren laughed and trailed his fingers along Jolyon’s ribs, tracing lightly over various scars. “No offense taken, don’t worry,” he joked. “Right now, I’d be absolutely fine to keep doing this until the sun explodes.”

“Good,” Jolyon murmured into his ear. “Gimme a second?”

“Mm, much as you need,” Uldren said.

Jolyon kissed him lightly, wrinkling his nose at the taste of himself on Uldren’s lips, before he clumsily fumbled for the bedside table.

“I thought you didn’t have anything?” Uldren asked as Jolyon fished out a bottle.

Jolyon gave him a mildly annoyed look, definitely too aroused for it to have any bite. “I don’t need them for toys, my darling, but this is important. Hormones, you understand, I don’t make much myself, not enough for this. Huh, I guess the Light does that for you now.”

Uldren’s eyes went a little wider, his face a little hungrier. Jolyon sat on him again, a little more forceful than necessary, but it only made Uldren snicker.

“You’re thinking about me getting myself off,” Jolyon accused, pointing the bottle of lube at him.

“Stars, am I,” Uldren confirmed.

Jolyon shook his head and squeezed his thighs tighter. He readjusted himself and licked his lips. “Well, imagine no more, I suppose.”

Uldren watched eagerly as Jolyon spilled lube over his fingers and waited for the chill to ease. He still shivered at the touch against his cock. Uldren’s hands met his thighs as Jolyon stroked over himself slowly. He rubbed around his entrance before frowning and adding a little more lube. Could never use too much, though, he told himself.

Jolyon slipped a finger into himself and slowly worked it deeper, curling and then straightening his spine to get the angle better. He watched Uldren as he did, slowed his movements. He’d started to slip into the methodical sort of habit he had started to develop over the last few years alone.

He thrust his finger a few times before letting a second join, along with another glob of lube. He hummed at the stretch when he worked his fingers in himself, easily finding the spots he liked and curling them just right.

Uldren, meanwhile, was probably achingly hard just behind him right about now. The orange of his eyes was dimmed with the size of his pupils, blown out and dark with arousal, and Jolyon slowed as he examined his expression. Damn near reverence.

“You okay?” Jolyon whispered.

“I… let me think of a better word to describe how you look,” Uldren replied.

Jolyon snorted and twitched his hips as he scissored his fingers. “What word were you gonna say? I won’t be offended.”

“Beautiful,” Uldren said. “But that’s not really right, is it? Stunning?”

“Mm, suppose it does have certain connotations, but thanks.” He grinned breathlessly and squeezed Uldren’s fingers with his other hand. “Ah, hm, where’d I put the…”

Uldren fumbled for the bottle of lube. “Here, got it.”

Jolyon slid his fingers out to let him spill more over them. “Sorry,” he said softly. “I always had a problem with it, even before hormones.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Uldren assured. “Your comfort is most important.”

Jolyon pressed his fingers back into himself with a shudder. “I mention I love you?”

Uldren blinked and smiled wide. He squeezed Jolyon’s thigh gently.

Jolyon curled his fingers with a rougher thrust before pulling them out again with a hiss. “Okay. Okay. Still good?”

“Mhm, absolutely.”

Jolyon moved back and huffed in annoyance. “You’re still wearing pants.”

“I got distracted.”

“Unbelievable, making me do all this extra work,” Jolyon grumbled, earning a laugh, before he worked Uldren’s pants off and tossed them carelessly on the floor. He started and grinned. “Uldren. You’ve still got it.”

“Ah,” Uldren murmured. “I figured, but, um, wasn’t sure how to ask about it.”

Jolyon hummed and reached for his dick. Uldren’s head fell back to the pillows with a pleased sigh. “I convinced you to get it. You were all for it, though.”

“You’re brilliant,” Uldren told him as Jolyon played with the skin around the piercing.

“I wonder if…” Jolyon rubbed his head, pressed his thumb against the piercing. Uldren nearly choked out. “Ah, good, you still like that.”

“I’m going to actually die,” Uldren breathed. “You’re a miracle worker.”

Jolyon snickered and pressed forward, grasping Uldren’s dick and rutting his own against him. He breathed in relief at the contact, the way his piercing felt nudging against himself. “Uldren,” he said, slowing the movement of his hips. “Look at me?”

Uldren sat up a little and his orange eyes glittered with lust. Jolyon grinned with Uldren’s cock in his hand and gave a slow stroke, pushing him against his own. “Menace,” he whispered.

“I know,” Jolyon said. “Lube.”

Uldren passed it over. He groaned as Jolyon stroked him with slick fingers. Jolyon took his time, smeared more between his own thighs.

“Okay. Good?” Jolyon asked, lifting himself up.

Uldren’s hands gripped his thighs. “Please, yes, Jolyon,” he said, almost pleading.

Jolyon carefully lined himself up and sank down. He sighed, eyes closing, as he slowly worked himself down.

It was everything he missed and more. Just like everything else: familiar but different. Uldren was so soft and gentle with each touch. He hadn't been that tender in years before they had their last night together.

But this Uldren was so sweet, even with his fingers quaking and a look of utter bliss on his face.

Jolyon finally came flush with Uldren's hips. “Ah,” he sighed, “Uldren, babe… fuck.”

Uldren managed a laugh. “Yeah? Eloquent.”

“Your dick is in me, excuse my brain for not thinking of words,” he said. “Just wait till I find my strap, you bastard, we'll see who can talk then.”

Uldren shuddered a little. “Is that something I like? I'm interested.”

“Mm, more or less. You're a weirdo and prefer to give than receive. Of course, I'm also selfish. And I can come a lot.” He grinned. Of the things that hormones hadn't affected even after all the years, he was glad that was one. He shifted his hips a little, but gritted his teeth and stopped.

“Okay?” Uldren murmured, brow coming together. He ran his hands over Jolyon’s thighs.

“Yep, just been a while,” Jolyon said. “Need a sec.”

“As much time as you need,” Uldren said softly.

Jolyon splayed his fingers over Uldren’s chest, admiring the patterns of their skin side by side. “Uldren?”

“Yeah, Jol?”

“Love you.”

Uldren’s eyes went wide again. “Stars, I love you, too.”

“Make sure we say that a lot. That’s something I’m not gonna let you forget.” He took a breath. “You, who you are, now, right now. Not who you were. I… I always did love you, I never stopped. But you’re different, and I love what makes you different.”

Uldren fumbled for his face to cup his jaw. He was looking for words, Jolyon could tell. He kissed his palm.

It was enough words for now, though.

Jolyon shifted and groaned softly. He rolled his hips and let his eyes close to focus on the feeling of Uldren in him, the drag of the little metal ball against him.

Uldren tightened his grip on him.

Jolyon moved with practiced ease. It came back to him so quickly, just how to move to get the best feeling out of it, how to curl his body and tighten his thighs to get Uldren arching his back and jerking into him.

He stuttered for a second and grabbed at Uldren’s wrists. Uldren blinked in confusion, but Jolyon leaned forward and pinned his arms down. He grinned toothy at Uldren to warn him.

Uldren gasped out a curse as Jolyon picked up his pace. His fingers twitched, his breath fast, hair splayed out around his head with little beads of sweat at his temples. Jolyon was burning up too, electric heat in his belly with each movement.

He knew Uldren probably couldn’t come like this, but he knew how to get him there. Jolyon slid one hand down his arm and slowed his pace so he could touch himself.

Uldren grabbed his thigh again, nearly digging bruises into him, watching with hungry golden eyes. His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

Jolyon rubbed at himself until his hips twitched out of his control. He bit hard on his lip and doubled over, pressing his fingers against himself, thighs squeezing Uldren’s hips tight.

It felt right, coming around Uldren.

He shuddered and gasped as he pulled his hand away. Uldren was still hard and hot inside him, almost uncomfortably so with the oversensitive post-orgasm feeling.

“Hold on,” Jolyon whispered. He gingerly pulled off.

Uldren whined a little, hips jerking.

Jolyon chuckled breathlessly and wrapped his fingers around him. “I’ve got you, darling,” he cooed. He knew just how to touch him, navigating the ancient, long-faded surgical scars with deft fingers.

When he rubbed his thumb against the nerves at the base of his cock, Uldren choked out and arched his back into him. “Jol, fuck,” he got out.

“That’s it,” Jolyon urged. “You look so good, Uldren, you’ll let me do anything I want, won’t you? A prince and a Guardian, putty in my hands… Right here, you like this still, don’t you?”

Uldren’s fingers were twitchy claws. “Please, please, Jolyon,” he begged.

Jolyon stroked him to the edge and kept him there for just another second before gladly pulling him over. He watched Uldren finish, felt him twitch under his fingers.

Uldren looked the same. For just a moment it was just like it once was.

No, this was better. Jolyon licked his lips, the taste of ginger and vetiver in the air.

Uldren slumped back, looking utterly boneless, chest heaving. “Well,” he said. “You weren’t kidding.”

Jolyon snorted and crawled up to kiss his jaw. “Was that the first time you’ve come?” he asked, half teasing.

Uldren flushed deeper. “No,” he muttered. “First time someone else has gotten me off, though.”

“Weird thought?”

“Very.”

Jolyon chuckled. “Used to take more to get you off. But that’s alright with me. As long as it makes you feel good.”

“You’ve got incredible fingers.”

“You haven’t seen what I’m capable of yet.”

“I’m eager to.”

Jolyon grinned and danced his hand over his shoulder. “You’re not all fucked out yet?”

“I think I could keep going until the heat death of the universe,” Uldren said. “You’ve got an unfair advantage. I’ve got to relearn everywhere you like to be touched!”

“Well, Warlock, get to learning.”

Uldren’s grin was hungry and dangerous as he reached for him again.

**Author's Note:**

> come stop by my tumblr @lesbianeliksni


End file.
